Sunday, September 28, 2008

History Exam
Wah todae sianz lor history exam i go do both questions
lucky when teacher say do one question i woken up from sleep(dun tell teacher hor :P) then i go cancel one away.
After the exam my classmates(bervyn,willis,teng shuen,Ying jie,gary)and the girls decided to go E!hub go bowling:)
At the end of the bowling the stupid joseph go ask gary let him play his ball and say if gutter give gary 3 games then after so many gutters,he kana need to give gary 7 games just enuff 4 all the guys :)YAY!!
After that everyone go home liao damn sianz........

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

Todaes Examination

Wah sianz lor Mt so hard sia the last part i blur liao ler lor (O.O'')

but luckily math not tt hard \(^.^)/

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I got 100marks anyway
complete this test to see are you a genius or not!

The Paper <----Click this 1st!

The Answer Sheet




Wish Everyone Good Luck for The Examination And Stay in Express Hor!!




Practical Exams YesterDay
Sian lar i was making a mango swiss roll but it was a mess!!
i forgot to put sugar in the mix and the cake is too bland and it was hard
when i take out from the oven the cake it became half as the other half is
sticked on to the grease proof paper
when it is time to cut i had a hard time as the knife in school sux F3 luckily
it turn out to look nice and teacher nvr eat it (or else ltr camp in toilet :P)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

---

A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"




are u a marathon runner?

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

"I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied.

He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!" So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!

As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.


"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved along side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run? "

"Nope.........just when it's raining".

LOL !




show off

Abdul grew up in Kota Baru, a town located on the East Coast of Malaysia, and then moved away to Kuala Lumpur to do his law degree in order to fill up the Bumiputra quota. He decided to come back to Kota Baru, because he could be a big man and really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office.

The first day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door Abdul picked up the phone. He motioned the man to push the door to come in, all the while talking. "No, absolutely no - you tell those clowns in Kuala Lumpur that I won't settle this case for less than one million ringgit. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the State Prosecutor that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Abdul rattled instructions. Finally, Abdul put down the phone and turned to the man.

"I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from Telekom, I've come to connect your line".




What a date!!

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old
days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more". They made a date on the river bank they used to go
when they were young. The next day, grandpa got up 6a.m. in the morning,dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in
disappointment grandma never showedup even after sunset.
Grandpa went home in such an anger. He opened the
door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw
the flowers on the floor and questioned:

"Why didn't you come to our date?!!"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly:
"Mom didn't allow me to go..."




Woman and bartender


A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She
gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?", she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running
her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues,
slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to
suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.


"Tell him," she whispers,
"there is no toilet paper or hand soap in
the ladies room."

Thursday, September 18, 2008

doctor doctor..

---

---

No Room At The Inn

---

A man needs a room for the night. He stops at an inn and asks for lodgings. The innkeeper says that he doesn't have any rooms available but there is one big bed in a room that he can share with another man but he must warn him that the man snores so bad that no one can stand it.

The traveler says that would be fine. Next morning he comes down all smiles and tells the innkeeper that he had a great nights sleep.

The innkeeper was shocked and asked the man how he was able to sleep with all that noise.

The man said, "Simple, when I got in the room I leaned over and kissed the man on the cheek and said 'have a good night, beautiful'. He stayed awake all night watching me




THE CHINESE DETECTIVE

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A Funny Vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4&feature=related

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

:

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

PCK Joke

Poison

There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour.

Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.

"The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar.

"And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."




Oh Shit!!!

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."

So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"




My men are very brave

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Monday, September 15, 2008

Waa today put until so many jokes must leave comment hor or i will sad de T.T




Being a wife

You think being a W I F E is only Washing, Ironing, Food and Entertainment ????

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,packed their lunches, Drove them to school, and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework. Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,breaded the chops and snapped fresh beans for dinner. After dinner, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids,and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to! stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Voted Women's Favorite Email of the Year




10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"




How to ask your boss for a salary increase??

One day an employee sends a letter to boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!


Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under-$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.



I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih


The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:



Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.


NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager




Cigarette Cover

---

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."
(camel is a cigarette brand ^-^)




Professional Painter

---

A church congregation sent out requests to all the professional painters listed in their local Yellow Pages, requesting a bid on a price to repaint their church building. Almost all of the painters were within a few dollars of their competition, as expected, with the exception of one well-known, well-established, local company, which had been in business for years and had an excellent reputation in the community. This particular painter's bid was about half of what his competitions had bid, and naturally, was selected by the congregation to do the job.

On the morning the job began, the painter realized that he had underbid the job by 50%! Not wanting to lose the job, he decided to thin the paint out with water, so he would be able to complete the job for the price quoted.

One week later, he received a call from the priest, explaining that after the first rain, half of the paint had washed off the church. The painter returned, looked at the building, and sure enough, the job was ruined. He went inside to pray about the situation, knowing that his business' reputation was on the line. "What can I possibly do, Lord?" prayed the discouraged businessman.

Suddenly, God, in a loud voice from the altar replied, "Repaint, and thin no more!"

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Smart Alecky


Customer : Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?



#2 Smart Alecky


A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion
in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor,
I'll have a scotch and soda."






YAY PSP Fixed liao
WooHoo Now can play psp liao.Nice sia all repair +new cover onli less than $40
Cheap sia.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Wheres The Ball??
theres the joke
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.

"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went."

"You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"

"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.

"Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack.

"Yup," Scott answered.

"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

"I forgot.




A funny conversation!
Hello?'

'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?'

'No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Paul.'

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.'
Brief Pause. 'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the
phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and
shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'

'Okay Daddy, just a minute.'

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I did it
Daddy.'

'And what happened honey?'

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and
ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on
the
dresser and now she isn't moving at all!' 'Oh my God!!!

What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared
and he
jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess
he
didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the
bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool?

Is this 486-5731?'

No, this is 486-5713.....

Sorry, wrong number!!!!!!!!
?
?

I made this widget at MyFlashFetish.com.
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