A man went on a business to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happened if this does not work?'
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, 'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'.
Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.
He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refused to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China . We read from the right to the left.'
Fight on 1:34 AM
WELCOME TO AIR INDIA..........> WELCOME TO AIR INDIA ! > > "Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain MUTHU. > Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Air India . We > apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather > and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. > > This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we > will end up somewhere in India . And, if luck is in our favor, we may > even be landing on your village! > > Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards > are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! > > It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our > passengers have reached their destination only... > > If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange > to turn them off! > > To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve > complimentary DHARU and Wada pavw....toseii...mutu mayamm.. > > For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help > you find out if there really is a God..out there..! > > We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as > we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, > we will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their movie > will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. > > There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the > cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow > down! > > In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible > for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know. > > Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark! > > Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and > fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, > kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you > who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess > who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase." > > ENJOY AIR INDIA !
